The bottom line is these people are degenerates, and will lose any money they receive within a few minutes and be back begging for more. Some of them actually get lucky and win a few bucks (search the RGP archives for "stevedapimp" for an example), but most of them are completely useless. Also, forget ever seeing any money given to these low lives.
Tonight I ran into a particularly donkish beggar. "She" posted a typical RGP post, asking for "a few bucks" so she could enter a $1 tournament. I replied, offering her whatever I had left in my PokerStars account. (note that I never did believe "she" was a she, but since she insisted on it, I'll call her her and she throughout this entry).
The second I logged on after I came home she IM'd me. I was in the middle of discovering a dead power supply on my desktop machine, so I didn't get to answer her right away:
[17:15] gottcrabbs: hello thereHey! The Manifesto is famous! Even scamming beggars (or is that begging scammers?) read it!
[17:16] gottcrabbs: well my name is tammy
[17:18] gottcrabbs: hello
[17:18] gottcrabbs: you replyed to my post on rgp hope you was serious
[17:18] gottcrabbs: well gl at the tables
[17:23] gottcrabbs: hiya
[17:23] XaQ Morphy: hi, just had a power supply die, so give me a few minutes
[17:24] gottcrabbs: oh sorry
[17:24] gottcrabbs: anyway my name is tammy
[17:24] XaQ Morphy: I don't have much on stars, but I'll give you what I have
[17:25] gottcrabbs: ok thx Im making a deposit this friday so even if I dont run it up Ill send it back to ya
[17:25] gottcrabbs: but hopefully I will
[17:25] gottcrabbs: my player id is gotcrabbs?
[17:26] XaQ Morphy: ok cool
[17:26] gottcrabbs: read your blog
[17:28] *** gottcrabbs is trying to send you "me me.jpg".Huh? "She" sends me a picture of "herself." It's a very small picture, looks like it was taken from a webcam, and shows what is most likely some 16 year old's kid's sister. Meanwhile I'm mostly ignoring her while looking for a power supply online.
[17:28] gottcrabbs: thats me lol
[17:32] gottcrabbs: you here
[17:33] gottcrabbs: I know I know Im ugly lol
[17:37] gottcrabbs: you here
[17:37] gottcrabbs: sorry you must be busy
[17:38] gottcrabbs: did you get my pic
[17:39] XaQ Morphy: yeah I got it, sorry, I'm a bit busy
[17:39] XaQ Morphy: transferring now
[17:39] XaQ Morphy: ok I submitted it, like I said, it was all I had in my account
[17:40] gottcrabbs: ok thx
Meanwhile, I received this email from PokerStars. I didn't lie, I never win at the site, so I don't play with very much when I do play there. I tend to deposit small once or twice every 6 months or so, and basically screw around on the site without doing well or playing very seriously. I usually finally give up and donk the rest of it off in a cash room of some sorts, and when I bust out I'm left with just a few cents on the site. The email:
Hello XaQ Morphy,hehe, sometimes I crack myself up. I almost felt guilty for this. Almost.
We have transferred $0.03 from your account to 'gotcrabbs?' as per your request. Good luck to you both.
Regards,
PokerStars Cashier
[17:47] gottcrabbs: haha your funnySo, the scammer needs to find a new site to scam money on. Sorry. I ignored her for a while, then sent this:
[17:47] gottcrabbs: you sent me 3 cents
[17:48] gottcrabbs: geeez
[17:48] XaQ Morphy: I told you I would send what I had in my account
[17:49] gottcrabbs: I just thought you had at least a buck or 2
[17:49] XaQ Morphy: not on stars
[17:49] gottcrabbs: oh
[17:49] gottcrabbs: what site you play on
[17:50] XaQ Morphy: UB and FullTilt
[17:50] gottcrabbs: oh Im livefishy on fulltilt
[17:53] XaQ Morphy: I'm the same on all sites
[17:53] gottcrabbs: can you spare a few bucks on fulltilt
[17:58] gottcrabbs: guess not sorry
[18:01] gottcrabbs: if you can send me something on fulltilt Ill get it back to ya by the end of this week
[18:09] XaQ Morphy: ok so you're really a guy right? A kid with no money and no way to deposit who is scamming people out of money to play online poker. Am I close?Ahh, the scammer decides there's no money to be had here, so "she" decides to leave. Shortly after this IM chat, she posts a good 5 new threads to RGP asking for money. She was very rude to anyone that tried to call her out as a scammer. She even sparked one fairly amusing thread, where an RGPer pretended to beg for money so that he could give it to her.
[18:14] gottcrabbs: why would you say that'
[18:14] gottcrabbs: no Im a lady
[18:14] gottcrabbs: I only deposit once a week
[18:14] XaQ Morphy: on every site?
[18:15] gottcrabbs: no not on every site I only play on full tilt and stars thats it
[18:15] XaQ Morphy: how old are you?
[18:15] gottcrabbs: 28 why
[18:15] gottcrabbs: how old are you
[18:15] XaQ Morphy: older than that
[18:16] gottcrabbs: oh ok sorry
[18:17] gottcrabbs: well gl at the tables
So, I thought the night was over, and it actually seemed as if this wasn't a very good blog entry, until a few of us decided to invite her to an IM chat room. This made this a must add entry:
[20:23] XaQ Morphy: mukwrm was concerned about your situation tammyAnd there we have it. Stuff like this just writes itself.
[20:23] Mukwrm715: what did i do?
[20:24] XaQ Morphy: you said you wanted to help out
[20:24] thenutlow: gottcrabbs. I have a wayfor you to make $5
[20:24] gottcrabbs: uh huh
[20:24] Mukwrm715: ohhh
[20:24] thenutlow: write on your stomach "i love the donkey manifesto" and then send the pic to XaQ..
[20:25] gottcrabbs: omg
[20:25] thenutlow: and then $5 will be issued upon reciept
[20:25] gottcrabbs: you guys are crazy
[20:25] thenutlow: hey its $5 for less then 2 mins work
[20:25] thenutlow: thats more then you would get if the employers at burger king took kindly to you
[20:25] gottcrabbs: uh huh
[20:25] gottcrabbs: lol
[20:26] *** gottcrabbs has left the chat.
Morphy
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