Anyway, onto the hands. A lot of them this time as I've been slacking on writing up the hands. I'm not even caught up. Hope you are enjoying these!
wins:
+$44.45 - Some moron gobbles UTG, some other idiot calls, I call on the BB with K8d cause it's just the hand that's likely to bust one of these nitfucks who gobbles UTG. Flop is Q54 all diamonds and I do a little dance. Then I check, and it checks around. Turn is the Ac, I bet $3, UTG raiser gobbles, cause that's what these gobbling morons do, I figure he has some nonsense with an A so I make it $22 which is just over half my remaining stack and he calls. I see visions of an ugly river, but it's the Jh which is just as likely to have given this idiot 2 pair, cause idiots sure love their AJ. I shove, he damn near instacalls me with A9o. Surely he's complaining to his dorm buddies about the "sick cooler" and the guy who called him with K8.
+$56.65 - I raise with 66, SB re-gobbles and I pray that I flop a set and call. Flop 6TK and the star spangled banner AND show tunes go off in my head. I pull my hoodie over my head, put the sunglasses on, and he's so intimidated that he checks to me. Fuck it, I'm betting. He says fuck you, I check raise. I say fuck you, I shove. He says here sir, have my stack as he calls with AK. I somehow have him dead on the 5d turn, and the river doesn't matter at this point since I've already spent his money on a set of kings somewhere.
+54.20 - every once and a while I'll get a hand so sick even I cringe from it. I raise with TT and get 2 callers, both blinds fold, so I'm OOP vs. an unknown and a total moron. Flop is JQT 2 diamonds and my spidey sense goes off. I then realize I hate spiders and smack myself and bet $6 on the flop, which gets called. Turn is the 7h and I don't know what to do. I can either just get it in here or check and make an attempt to get to showdown which likely results in getting it in on the river or making a sick hero fold. In the name of trying to make things the most difficult for myself possible, I check/call a $12 bet. I hate it, but I do it anyway. River is the case T and I giggle a bit and just shove. He calls me and the poor bastard had JJ. I actually do feel a bit bad for that one. Just a bit. Ok no I don't.
+$46.10 - not sure wtf I was doing here. UTG+1 limps, cutoff raises to $2, and I'm in the SB with AKo. In the name of not knowing wtf to do, I shoved for almost a full stack. Limper folds but raiser has JJ and calls. I flop a K, dodge the rest, and cross off "winning a flip" from my bucket list.
+$60.80 - UTG raises, I re-raise with AA and he calls. Flop is 374 2 clubs (I have the Ac). He checks, I bet $10 and he calls. Turn is the 8c, and he checks again. At this point I figure a few things...he either has a set and isn't folding, has some sort of fuckall that the club scared off, or has an overpair that may or may not fold. If he has an overpair with a club he never folds, so I just shove. He called with QcQs and the river 6 busts him.
+$40.20 - I raise with 77 and get 2 callers. Flop is 427 rainbow and the SB leads out and pots it. I call, other guy folds. Turn J putting 2 clubs up, he checks, I bet $12 and he calls. River 8 and he instashoves into me. I call just as fast and he has 78c. Damn idiots and their suited cards.
+$37.25 - this one is funny. At least to me. I raise UTG with AKs (btw, when I say AKs I mean spades. If you haven't figured that out already by the times when I say AKc and mean clubs, then you're a damn idiot too). BB calls. Flop is Js 6d 9s. BB checks, I bet $3, BB raises to $10 and there's no way I'm folding here so I shove. Right into the monster that is Q2s. LOL. Turn K and I somehow avoid the T and bust his stupid ass. Damn idiots and their suited cards!
+$88.75 - Alright kids, time to play move up in levels to recoup our losses. Ready? Awesome. For these next 2 hands I'm at $1/$2, which is the low end of where I should be playing. But of course I made the stupid decision to cash out my roll a few years ago and here I am stuck playing with maggots. Anyway, I raise UTG with TT and a guy who I've played a ton with (and won a ton from) on another site calls with, umm, $88.75 in his stack. Board is 8T659, 3 diamonds by the end, and I just make a series of progressively bigger bets until I put him all-in. He happily calls all the bets with QQ. Yup, notes from 3 years ago still apply!
+$155 - this hand was pretty interesting to me. Not only cause I won a big pot, but due to the nature of how it played out. UTG limps, I raise to $10 with AA, folds back to him and he calls. Flop is 626 2 hearts, he checks, I bet $16 trying to make it a little weaker looking so he can raise me and I can just shove and watch the nonsense ensue. Instead he calls. Turn is the 6d and he checks. I figure a few things...if he's on hearts the 6 scares him away, if he's on overs I can give him a chance to catch up, if he has a pair he probably calls another bet. In addition to this, players in rush love to check/call flop bets and then spew the river if you check behind the turn. That's a secret a few of us found earlier this year, and it seems to have moved to all forms of NLHE, not just rush. So I checked behind. Sure enough he pots the 8d river. At this point I have $129 in my stack and decide he can't have a 6 based on his play, might have 88 but that's so remote I don't consider it, but might have another pair or some other stupid shit that he might call a bet with. I shove it in and he calls with 99. I hate his play on all levels there, but only from the poker theory standpoint. Obv I love it for what it does to my overall session!
+$49.65 - I raise with KK from the cutoff. Yeah, I know, why am I playing this crap hand in rush poker of all places, but I can't help it. At least it's not suited. Button calls and we see a flop of 2T4 all spades. I bet and naturally get fuckin gobbled. I figure I'll call and fold to the Js on the turn. Nope, turn Qd, I check, he bets $4.50 and I don't know wtf that means, so I just shove. Right into QT. aljsdflasjlasf Wait, what's this? This hand is in the win section? Huh? Yup kids, Kh on the river and I immediately head to the basement waiting for the end of the world storm.
+$48.90 - UTG limps, next guy raises and for some reason I just call with AKd. I'm 50/50 calling/raising/spewing/folding here, so I choose call since there's only 2 options in a 50/50 situation. Or something. UTG limper folds which is funny cause I can't think of anything he would limp/fold with there. Literally nothing. Flop is 7d Tc 5c and the raiser bets $3. I decide to float this so I call. Turn is the Jd and now I have just enough outs to spew off a stack. He bets $7 but I just call figuring only losing $12 something on this hand is better than most, so let's see the river. River is the 4d and he checks. Well wtf I don't know what that means, but it's probably missed clubs. Or something totally retarded. Either way I go for max value and shove here. He calls away with KJs. LOL.
+$41.85 - I raise with 33, guy behind makes it $4, I call, sure wtf. Flop 354 all diamonds. I check and he checks behind. Turn 3c giving me quads. I check, he bets $2.50 and I'm way too busy digging my hole to even think about gathering branches and twigs much less raising here, so I call. River is the Js and I bet $10. He shoves on me. At some point I'm going to hell for this, but until then, I'm gonna have fun with it. As I time down and request time, I give him this line:
XaQ Morphy: straight flush?
XaQ Morphy has 15 seconds left to act
XaQ Morphy has requested TIME
XaQ Morphy: I guess I have to call, I have quads afterall
XaQ Morphy: gl
Poor bastard had JJ. Yup, going to hell for sure.
+$51.15 - I raised with QQ and the SB called. Flop was J57 2 diamonds, he leads out weak, I raised to $8, he called. Turn 5 and he checks. I bet $18 and he shoved and I had him covered by a bit. I figure if he flopped a set he doesn't wake up now and shove as his hand got stronger, so I'm putting him on something stupid like a flush draw or Jx. Jx it is and he flips over QJo and is drawing to 2 outs, neither of which get there.
losses:
-$49.50 - every once and a while playing rush I lose my mind and play something I never play. There's a reason I never play these hands...let me illustrate. UTG+2 raises to $1.50, folds to me on the BB and I have AJd. Now, half the morons out there would re-raise in this situation. I suppose a case could be made for doing that at a normal table, but at a rush table that's just pure spew. I think calling is 2nd worst. I normally just fold, but, well, it was suited. So fuck it, I call. Flop 9d 6d Ts and I sigh. I check and somehow he checks behind. Turn 6s and I decide to bet, and get called. River 3d and he all of a sudden leads out and bets. I figure I'm either up against something retarded or the nuts. I go for something retarded and shove. Yup, something retarded alright, my AJd. He had 99 and happily accepts my donation from the land of it was suited.
-$42.75 - I raise with JJ and a $80 stack and get called by another $80ish stack. Flop is Js Qd 9d and I hate it already. I bet $3, he raises to $9 and I don't know what to do here. I could put in another raise but it would only be to fold if he pushes. I generally like to avoid these types of spew plays. Instead I decide to call and see if I can get there cheapish. Turn 8h and I hate it even more. I check, he bets $12 and I almost just fold here but choose to peel another one instead. River is the 5d. I check, he bets $20 and since there's damn near nothing I can beat at this point, I guess I put him on 99 and called. In retrospect this is a really bad call and I can probably just fold the turn and move on, but TdJd gets another $32 from me that he normally shouldn't have.
-$52 - Someone makes it $1.50, I call with 55 and the SB calls. Flop is Td Jd 5s. SB checks, raiser bets $3, I make it $10, and SB shoves for $50ish and I have her covered. I can't fold here so I call and see the monster that is 4d3d. Naturally the 6d hits the river and they just doubled their net worth.
-$49.25 - I raise with 98 cause it's suited in spades and I'm a damn idiot. Button calls. Flop is Kc 7d Ts. I bet $3 and get instagobbled, so I hope to hit a card and call. Turn is the 7s which makes my eyes gloss over. I get it in and lose to his AKo when the 5d hits the river.
-$42.35 - hands like this irritate me to no end. Some idiot limps, I pot it with AA, 1 call and a guy behind makes it $12. Folds back to me and I just shove, he calls away with TT. TT? Really? WTF kinda nonsense is gonna happen now I ask myself. Yup, 4 diamonds on board and since he has one and I don't, he's awarded the nitwit of the week award. Err, maybe not week. Nitwit of the minute. That's better.
-$50 - Folds to me on the SB and I limp with J9d. I've gone through reasons for limping here, but overall if I limp with a lot of hands and pot any flop it's cheaper than if I raise and get called and then bet the flop and get called or raised and have to give up. So based on that I do it with a lot of hands and in a lot of situations. I figure the blind vs. blind hands typically aren't big pots anyway, so I give them up fairly easily. Until this one. BB raises to $1.50 and dammit I have suited cards so I call. Flop is Qd 8c 7d. I check, he bets $2, I start to count outs, get to 9 and raise to $9. He raises again so I just shove, right into Ad8d. Ugh. I don't hit a miracle, he wins. Ugly, ugly hand.
-$48.90 - So every once and a while I get something so completely retarded there are no words. Well there are, but most of them aren't nice. Guy raises to $1.50, 1 caller and I have AA on the SB. I juse raiset he hell out of it and make it $10 total. 1st guy folds, 2nd guy calls with 77. How do I know it was 77? Cause we got it in on the 726 flop, that's why.
-$50.55 - This one is extremely annoying. Guy raises to $1.50, I call with 55, another caller behind, and the BB who is named "flingUfeces" makes it $6.50. Folds to me and I have position on him so I call, guy behind folds. Flop is 365 all clubs, and unless he has AKc I think I'm good here. He bets $10.50, I shove, and the monster re-raising hand vs. half the table is Q9c. I don't pair up and hopefully he washed his hands.
-$47.95 - here's a sick one. UTG gobbles, button calls and I call on the BB with 66. Flop is Ac Kc 6h. I lead out for $3 and it's gobbled and called behind me. I shove and watch both of these guys get it in behind me. One has AK and the other has QcJc. Yikes. turn 7c, I don't pair up on the river and that's just a sick hand that I don't think anyone played really badly at all. Just one of those things.
Until next time my friends.
Yours Donkily,
Morphy
