Yesterday the doctor cleared me to drive "when I feel ready." I figured this was a perfect chance to take a small trip to the nearest Walgreens, which is 8 blocks away. Yeah, we'll just say I'm not ready to drive yet. Fortunately I went there to pick up more pain pills, and the worst of it was when I was backing into the garage. This really sucks because I just bought a new Mazda Speed3 2 weeks before surgery and I'm itching to drive it again. It's a monster of a car, and I really love it.
Anyway, let's get on with it, shall we? Back in January, FullTilt poker introduced Rush Poker, which is a brand new format for online poker, never seen before. Basically it's a pool of players who play on the same tables, and as soon as you fold your hand, you are immediately moved to another table, where another hand starts right away. I'll let you use your googling skills if you are interested, but basically it allows for 300-400 hands per hour per table, and is great for rakeback and bonus whoring. I admit, I'm completely addicted to rush poker. The mad clicking, the breaking down of hands into poker at its most basic form, the madness, etc. It's great. The only thing I miss from a normal game is the lack of chat, because you're only on the table with the same people for one hand, and after that the table changes.
Getting more to the point here, I had an unusual session recently where in the span of 700 hands (1 hour) of no limit hold'em, I had AA 9 times, AK 11 times, AQ 13 times, KK 5 times and QQ twice. Naturally I lost almost $90. When I told a friend about it, he asked me if those hands were the cause of the loss or if there were others. I decided to write up the top 10 losing hands, and had a good laugh at some of the stupid ridiculous things I did. So, I decided to write up some more and post them here, hopefully for your enjoyment, but if not, at least for mine.
As I really started playing again a few months ago, I'm stuck playing low limits, so the game is 9 handed NLHE, blinds 25c/50c, with a $50 max buyin. I've done very well in this game, turning a starting deposit of $200 into several thousand. I plan on moving up within a few months, assuming things go well. That said, here's the top 5 money winners and money losers over the last few days. My plan is to write up the top 5 for both each day, and then every few days/weeks/months/years, post the highlight reel here, since a lot of the hands will be boring such as AA vs. KK all-in preflop. I've had some real doozies for winners in the past, but if I went searching for them this blog entry would turn into an all-night activity, so I'm just going to go the last 2-3 days. I promise there will be some good ones in the future.
Note that the amount is either a + or -, and is the total amount won or lost in the hand, and not the size of the pot. An astute reader would then figure out that if I won $40, the pot was probably $80.
We'll start with the money winners, top 5:
1) +$52.90 - I raised with 99 and the BB called. Flop was T87 rainbow, so I flopped an open ended straight draw. He checked, I bet $3.50 which is my standard continuation bet size with or without a hand, and he raised to $8. This raise serves no purpose at all, since I'm not folding any draws, so I decided to call. AT/KT is well within his range here, so I don't want to go nuts just yet. Turn was an offsuit 6, BOOM. He bet $10, I didn't see him folding, so I moved in and he beat me into the pot with QQ. I don't know wtf he thought I had, or if he even thought about it at all, but the river was another T and I busted his ass good.
2) +$52 - Someone raised, I called with 66, the BB re-raised to $5, the original raiser folded, and it's on me. I'll call this every time as long as the raiser has maybe 75BB in his stack or more. He had over 100BBs, so I called. Flop was JQ6 with 2 spades. Boom, star spangled banner went off in my head, along with showtunes. I was very careful not to give off any tells though. He checked, which is what these guys will do with a lot of hands, and I don't make it a habit of folding sets, so I bet $8. He insta re-raised to $36.75, I moved in, and he called with the best re-raising hand from the BB possible, which is the monster that is 74 suited. I somehow dodged a spade and busted his ass too. These morons.
3) +$46.50 - folded to me in the SB, I completed with 5d7d. Flop was 9d 5c Jd. My eyes immediately glaze over, and I bet the pot. The BB raised to $2.50, I re-raised to $13. I know Doyle Brunson says don't go broke in an unraised pot, but I can bet you Doyle didn't have full on BSOD (that's bright shiny object disorder) after flopping a pair and a flush draw when he said that. I did, so when my opponent raised to $40, I shoved for $9 more, he called with the monster that is J6o. I somehow rivered a diamond and put a nice note on him.
4) +$24.65 - I got all-in preflop with AK vs. a shorty's JJ, board ran 32T45, and I now have a documented case of me winning a race.
5) +$22.50 - I raised with JJ, about 13 people called including a short stack, some other idiot re-raised, I only had about $35 in my stack cause I don't have auto top-off on and I was being stubborn, so I just moved in. The shorty called with the monster drool-inducing hand that is AJo, the rest folded. The board ran 34J2, and I somehow dodged the 5 on the river to bust him.
Bonus hand!) +$10.65 - this one isn't a big winner, but was pretty amusing to me. The same K8 moron that you'll read about in the losing hands section was again at my table. He raised, I called with 33. Flop was 675 and he bet $1. This bet tilts the hell out of me, so I'm going to either raise or call here. I think I'm good, and don't want to raise, have him call with KJo cause he has overcards and see a J on the turn, so I call. Turn is a 4, and now I know I'm good. He bets $1 again. This line is a standard one for retards everywhere. I raised to $7 and he called. Uhh, ok. River was a 9, no flush possible, and he fuckin bets $1 again. I figured ok, fuck you pal, and moved in for $44. He thought for a while, but eventually folded. Want to get a note on you that you're a moron? Bet $1 on every street. That'll do it.
Now we have the top 5 money losers. Warning, some of these are not for the faint of heart, but I can say for sure that they belong on this blog:
1) -$30.60 - raise with AA, world calls. Flop K98, get all-in with the $1 betting genius from above who has K8. You know, cause it was suited.
2) -$22.60 - Some fuckin moron gobbles. This of course sets me on life tilt. I have QQ and raise to $4.50, and he calls. Flop 37J with 2 spades, he checks, I bet $8, he shoves his last $18 in and somehow I'm drawing dead to his red 44. These fucking gobbling maggots can all go fuck off.
3) -$22 - raise with TT, both blinds call, flop 456 2 hearts, SB leads, I raise, he calls, turn 8, check/check, river 2, he pots it, I'm bad. He had A7o.
4) LOL -$19.75, all I see in the summary of my tracking software is that I had 65s, flop K7T rainbow. I'm afraid to look at the HH to see wtf I did.
5) -$17.75 - 44 somehow lost all that on a 2337T board. I wonder who played this session anyway?
No bonus hand for this section, sorry.
So what do you think? Interested in reading these? Not interested? Would rather see my head on a pike? Still starting at my x-ray picture wondering wtf that all is? Well, I rather enjoyed writing these up, and laughing at myself, and in the end, that's the whole reason this blog is here, for amusement, so I'm going to keep this practice up until I'm completely bored with it. That may be tomorrow, that may be 3 years from now, who knows. Until next time!
Yours Donkily,
Morphy
1 comment:
I laughed, I cried, I kissed 3 minutes goodbye...would read again!
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