Confessions of a Rush Poker Donk - 8/16/10

Hello Manifestites! I received some positive feedback last time, so I'll continue what I've titled my notepad doc the ever so descriptive "big hands" posts. I figure I'll write up 10-15 from each, then pick the best 5 or so and post them here. As expected, I had a few big pair vs. big pair hands, some that went my way, others that didn't. Overall I don't think these are entirely too exciting, but who knows, maybe I'll impress you with my awesome (or completely moronic) play. Note that these hands aren't the biggest money winners or losers. These are merely the ones that I picked from my biggest winners or losers. Some of them might be much less than others just because of how funny they are (to me). Also note that they aren't in any sort of order. I think I'll post most of them in the order they actually happened, since that's the order I wrote them down in, and arranging them into something meaningful takes time, and we surely can't have that now, can we?

Neck-wise, things are still progressing nicely. I started work back at the office today and while it was pretty brutal pain-wise, I made it through the day and got home intact. Physical therapy started last week and I'm doing range of motion exercises first before strengthening. I still have a ways to go before I'm considered really fully healed, and I'm limited to lifting a max of 10lbs for at least another month and a half, but I'm able to do nearly everything my job requires and can do most of the things in my day to day life.

Enough with the chit-chat, on with the hands!

Top 5 from the money winners:

1) +$52.50 - moron UTG gobbles, I call with 33. Note that I don't have any previous notes on this guy, so my determining factor that he's a moron is 1) he's playing poker, and 2) he gobbles UTG. Flop 386, and bingo bango bongo, I do a little jig. He bets $2.75, and I have the perfect flop to just call on, so I call. Granted, overpairs are never going away, but big cards rarely call a raise here. With position I'm happy to let him fire the turn. Turn Ks, and I think that's a pretty good card for me. He bets $6, I raise to $30, he calls. River 4s and he checks to me. I figure the game's up here, but I move in for $31 and he calls, mucking AA.

2) +$17.60 - this one is fun. Folds to button who raises to $1.50. I call on the SB with cards to be revealed later. Try to figure out what I have here as you read. Flop Jc 2d 3c, and I think this is a flop that's going to miss his 2 random bullshit cards that he raises the flop with, so I bet $2.50, but he calls. Turn 8c, so I check, he bets $5.50, I raise to $15, and he calls. WTF? River 5s adn I move in for $27. He somehow folds, and I take the pot with the monster that is 9h7h. Stupid bastard.

3) +$39.40 - very basic coinflip. I raise UTG with QQ, get 1 caller, and guy behind re-raises to $7.75 with a $39.90 stack. I hate calling here and folding if an overcard hits, so it's either shove or fold time. I look to the second hand on my watch, per Harrington's standard randomizer suggestion, and realize that not only am I not wearing a watch, I don't even own a watch, nor have I since those little plastic watches we used to have in grade school. Remember those things? Those were kinda cool. Well, if you were 10 years old I guess they were cool. By this time I forgot what I was doing, but got the time warning, so I moved in. Good enough randomizer I guess. He called with AK, board 8T8T5 and I win a flip. I guess it's a good thing I didn't reminisce about the time we duct taped some poor freshman to the wall 2 ft. off the ground, otherwise I might have folded.

4) +$23.25 - QQ again. Some moron maggot gobbling fuck gobbles my raise with 88 and calls off his stack when I shove. I love maggots.

5) +$36.80 - UTG+1 raises, I call on the button with Th9h. Flop 3h Jd Ts and he bets $2. These bets are usually totally weakness, so I raise to $5.50, but he calls. Turn 7h and now I have so many outs there's now way I can hit one, right? He checks, I bet $8, he calls. River Kh, I shove, and he calls me with AhKd. Splendid flop and turn play sir, and thanks for the stack.

Bonus coverage!

6) +$45.30 - I raise UTG+1 with 99, folds to a guy named "IFoldNuts4U" on the button who raises to $6.50. Eh, sure buddy, I call. Flop 953 all diamonds. He bet a lot on the flop so I just check shove the ever lovin shit out of him. He calls with QQ with a diamond, I boat up on the turn and dodge the 2 outer and, well, bust his ass. He didn't have the nuts which is why he didn't fold. That's a pretty stupid strategy imo.

Even more bonus coverage!

7) +$82.35 - raise to 99 cause apparently it's a fuckin goldmine today, 1 caller. Flop A49 2 spades. I bet $4, guy calls. I figure he can have an A, set or flush draw here. Turn 5c. I check, cause I think he bets a lot of his hands. He bets $5.50, I raise the shit out of him to $25, and he calls. River Tc, which doesn't make any draws. I can't really check here cause I don't think he bluffs the river with a missed draw. I raised on the turn big enough so that I could shove the river if he called, so I shoved. This moron called with AQh. Yeah, cause sometimes I have AJ there. Ok sir, thanks!

I don't get what's going on here, but we have yet another hand:

8) +$59.80 - raise with 33, get re-raised, get 2 calls behind, so I call. Flop 543 and I do what everyone who flops a set does, I check to the raiser. He bets $25, and I decide just to call, hoping the guy behind me goes wild, but he doesn't. In retrospect I should just shove here, since calling looks much stronger than shoving, and I only have $22 behind. Turn 7, and I check call the rest, and TT plays it like the nuts. I could see if he had something like KK, cause I can never fold it, but TT on that board seems like he should just use the transfer function instead of playing and save on the rake.

That's it for be playing like a genius and winning all the monies. Let's turn the tables, shall we? Here's the top losses since last time:

1) -$64.80 - UTG limps, I raise with KK, both blinds call, UTG calls. Flop KT9, checks to me, I bet, blinds folds, UTG calls. Turn 7, UTG bets $5, I raise to $20, he moves in, obv has QJ. I curse KK once again. At some point in my poker life I'm going to just fold KK. Until then, I'll at least have material for this section, if anything.

2) -$39.70 - someone in EP limps, button raises to $3, I call on BB with 66, UTG calls. Flop T63 2 hearts, checks to button who bets $6. I decide to call hoping UTG does something. I mean, something other than folding, which he did. Turn K, and now I'm thinking with the big raise pre, I could very well be up against KK. At this point, he either has KK or I'm way, way ahead, with a small possibility of him having TT. I check, he bets $10.50, and I don't want to scare off something like JJ, so I just call. My plan is to play this like a missed flush draw, assuming no heart on the river. River is an offsuit 7, I shove, this fucker has 8s9s! Oops.

3) -$47.95 - I limp after 2 limpers with 5d7d. Someone behind raises, 2 calls to me, so I call last to act. Flop Js 6s 4d. It checks past the original raiser, and the other guy bets $6.50, folds to me and I call. Turn Kd, and I really don't know what to do here. Open ended straight draw, 7 high flush draw. WTF. I check, he bets $14.50 with $24 left, and I have him covered. I decide I don't want to call and see the offsuit 2 on the river, so fuck it, I shove. Right into QdTd. At least I made my flush on the river...

4) -$19.20 - UTG+2 raises, I call with JJ. I'm 50/50 calling vs. re-raising here against a normal opponent, but this guy only has $19.20, (weird coincidence to how much I lost in this hand, eh?), so I just call. Flop is 8JK, and we both start digging our holes. As I'm running back with my first armful of branches and twigs, the turn is the 7s. . He bets $3, I raise to $9 purely for value, he shoves with KK. Trapped again!

5) -$20.85 - cutoff raises, I call on the button with 5s4s, both blinds call. Flop T44 and it checks to me. Well wtf, now what do I do? I know, I'll overbet the pot to make it look like I have a T. I bet $10, SB calls, rest fold. Fucker has $9.10 left, and called $10. This is either some retarded shit like 66, or he has me owned. Turn A, and naturally he checks to me, so now I'm sure I'm owned, so what do I do? Bet him all-in. Actually I bet $9 and made him put the last 10c in to see if he was serious. His hand? J4. Suited, naturally.

There's bonus coverage here too...you guys don't just get a bonus when I'm a genius, you get the other side too!

6) -$61.50 - 3 limpers to my BB and I have AA. I know these idiots call anything, so I raise to $4. Button calls and so does the SB. What the hell?. Flop 852 rainbow. I bet $10, button calls, SB folds. At this point I don't know what to do, cause they play TT-KK this way, and they even play A8 cause it's suited this way. Turn 9s. I figure fuck it, I can't fold so I'm just getting it in. He has 55. My motto for Rush poker is flop a set, stack a donk. Apparently this guy has the same motto. Or at least now he does.

7) -$51.60 - I raise with my friend, goddamn motherfucking bitch ass KK, one behind calls. Flop 492 2 diamonds, I bet $3, get raised to $7. At this point he has such a wide range, playing KK can turn into a self head-shot. I re-raised to $13 figuring I'd fold if he pushed (which in reality means I call). He calls. Looks like a flush draw to me. Turn 4s, pot is almost the same size as what he has left, I convince myself that he plays A9 and TT-AA like this as well as sets, so I shove into 99. Bleh.

3 more in the file, guess how many more you guys are gonna get?

8) -$40.25 - Riase with AA and the button calls. Flop 847 2 diamonds. I bet $3 and get raised to $6.50. I channel my inner dumbass and call, figuring he already has a set and I can keep the pot small if I just call, and that if he is drawing I'll let him draw for free. I honestly don't know, but the HH says I called, so we'll go with that. Turn 7, and I check, he bets $7, I say that's funny, that's what I'd bet if I had a 7, and I call. River 2 and I check again. He bets $25 and I pay off the monster that is K7. On the other hand, if I shove the flop he puts me on AK and I bust. This way I saved $7 something. Where's my vicodin?

Oh btw, if you guessed 3 above, you were wrong. Thanks for playing tho.

9) -$29.10 - This ended up being my last hand of the night for this day. I mean, as soon as I saw the hole cards I checked the sit out next hand box, but based on what happened and some fo the previous hands (which you've no doubt read about), I just gave up for the night. I raise the button with 67h, SB re-raises. Basically everyone in rush raises the button when it folds to them, and a good 25% of those are re-raised by the blinds because they realize that 100% of the buttons raise. So I call with position. Flop is 5h 4d 4h, so I've flopped a pretty damn huge draw, and in reality I have 7 high. But, BSOD has taken over, so when he bets I just shove. He takes a while, but calls with 99, which was interesting. Turn 5, river 4 and I have a full boat house! Unfortunately his full house boat beats my full boat house, so he wins.

That's it for now, kids. I hope you enjoyed this, but don't expect all this bonus coverage all the time. Actually maybe you will, cause I've had some big swings since these hands (last hand was 8/11), both up and down.

Anyone interested in a story from RGP's very own Diputsur when he tried to take on Absolute Poker's online chat support? I have that in the works. Until next time!

Yours Donkily,

Morphy