Donkey Manifesto Presents - The List

Hello Manifestites! This is it, the moment you've all been waiting for. The Donkey Manifesto proudly presents, The List. Some of you have heard about The List, some of you have seen quotes from The List, and some of you are even on The List.

What is the list? Well, as this famous blogger once said:

XaQ Morphy: it's a, ummm, work in progress.

Starting last year around neck surgery time, a group of us started creating IM chat rooms. These rooms usually had a few core members, and we expanded and invited several others. Most of the times we sat chatting about whatever was on our minds, what was on TV, etc. Sometimes we would rail someone playing a tournament, and a lot of times we would each be playing something separately and use the chat room to whine about bad beats and make fun of people. The List started with a famous quote from Muk that you'll soon see, and after that, anything that I felt was amusing, I'd paste into a document and save for later. Some of the quotes have meaning, some don't. Some were obviously percoset induced, others weren't.

The List has manifested itself into a living, breathing being. It is beyond control, and has demanded I release part of it to the blog. So what am I to do? Surely I can't refuse a beast such as this? I'm not really sure how I'm going to go about doing this yet, but I do know that there will be more than one entry. A note to those nits out there...I don't care if you don't find this funny. I find it funny and that's all that matters. For some of the quotes I will try and set up what the base story was behind it, for others, I won't. So let's start with the quote that started it all...

Mukwrm715: i am tearing through my stars money like the site is closing down in 10 minutes

Too bad Muk wasn't around for the closing of JetSet. Others had lofty goals but apparently never reached them:

[22:32] joe man dead: i got 15 in ub
[22:32] joe man dead: cents
[22:32] joe man dead: got to make 1.10
[22:32] joe man dead: from.15 going to do it
[22:34] joe man dead: got nothin now
[22:35] Mukwrm715: a long hard fought battle

and:

[23:42] Eskabor: what a fucking faggot
[23:42] Eskabor: fuck fuck fuck
[23:42] Eskabor: my parents are gonna killl me
[23:42] thenutlow: how much yu got now
[23:42] Eskabor: 3.50

FellKnight has said many times that I have a strange mind for finding patterns in words. I don't think of it, I just see things. Very strange. The neat thing about the list is I can invent conversations that never happened. Or did they?

Mister Teeny: I AM THE REAL DEAL
GambleAB: I WAS ON TV!
GambleAB: I DEMAND RESPECT!
Mister Teeny: DONT CALL ME NO NIT
GambleAB: I DRIVE A FORD FOCUS!
Mister Teeny: HIT THE RAIL DONK
Mister Teeny: CLOSE THE DOOR ON THE WAY OUT
GambleAB: blblblblblbllblblblblbllblblblblblbl

Speaking of GambleAB, before he got rich and famous, we used to rail a few of his tourneys. Watching him blow up at his opponents is a site to seen, which is talked about here:

XaQ Morphy: someone asked me why I like to watch gambleab play
XaQ Morphy: I said it was like a guy swinging a chainsaw around in a public place. You want to get close enough to see it just in case he cuts his own head off, but you want to stay far enough away in case he goes into the crowd

Mukwrm715: i am debating on whether it would be cool or crappy to watch someone hack off their own head

Also on the subject of famous online players, Mister Teeny lands at gank's table one day:

Mister Teeny: if gank was old enough, I wish he was my father
Mister Teeny: gank lives for his railtards

The List also helps us see how people progress over time. Or regressed, however the case may be:

9/16/05 - Mister Teeny [observer]: YOU ARE THE WORST PLAYER I HAVE EVER SEEN
12/17/06 - Mister Teeny [observer]: WAS THE WIRST PLAY I EVER SORE

Typos are fun. As are comments made after cleaning keyboards, and apple martini influenced "no, I really do have a new keyboard" comments:

Mister Teeny: saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaadssaqwqyttttttttttttttttttjhhhhhhhh/......../ul
Mister Teeny: sry.. meant ul

Mukwrm715: iganr/ionai9rbnmwrab9nm'ba rgawjrironmv bkclxn;

thenutlow: what toiuyrby?

RonDworkin: et s wf****eoua
RonDworkin: a
RonDworkin: yes

misst74: uif toiuy \\\misst74: Wjhere tjhe fiuck are you plai8ying?
misst74: IM SO FUCKING SMARKT
misst74: sSHUT UP

Add the two previous ideas together, and it almost looks like they are trying to communicate:

misst74: giw tge
gastonne [observer]: se eho ksanadei...eisai magas!
misst74: uf sineibe

And of course, the mother of all typos. Previously the leader was Muk's typo of furniture that came out as "furtinate." But this one takes the cake. TNL and I were watching someone else play, and saw 2 idiots get all-in with ridiculous hands. When one of them lost, TNL went to comment on the "bad beat" but seems to have missed a few words. The result?

thenutlow: suck a sick bear

So there we have it. The List. The quotes above make up about 10% of what I have, and I'm constantly adding to it. I'll take IM chat, table chat, emails, RGP posts, etc. and add them in. I don't go for live quotes because I can't copy and paste them, and well, typing is hard. I plan on having a few different series of these entries containing quotes from The List. Next up is poker talk/strategy. After that will be the animal related quotes, which as far as I'm concerned contains the best material, although it's a toss-up between that and the sexual innuendo quotes. Until next time, I'll leave you with a reflective quote from Muk:

Mukwrm715: so adam ft's in a game he claims no knowledge of, james wins a tournament, and i get beat by a 3 outer
Mukwrm715: looks like things are back to normal

Yours Donkily,

Morphy