Quick Score: Donkeys 0, Moving Vehicles 29348203948230482034

I could name this post Donkeys on Wheels #4, but eventually we'll be at #2349887234 and it will be hard to keep track of which donkey is which.

So I'm driving home on a Friday night after work. It's been a crazy week all-around, and I'm looking forward to getting home and relaxing. I'm driving on the same street from DOW #1 which is a boulevard type street (2 lanes per side, separated by a median). It's rush hour, so there are quite a few cars on the road, and with stop lights every few blocks, traffic backs up fairly often. One of the main causes of traffic backups are donkeys who run red lights.

So, I'm driving in the left lane, doing maybe 34mph in a 30mph zone. There are cars in front, next to, and behind me. Up ahead, the light changes from green to yellow. I put my brakes on to stop my car at the light that will be red by the time I reach it. As expected, a donkey in the right lane floors it, doing about 45mph as he runs the red light. It’s amazing that donkey didn’t cause an accident, since he entered the intersection at least a full second AFTER the light changed red.

While this is happening I look in my rear view mirror at the donkey in the Jeep Cherokee who has to slam on her brakes to keep from hitting me. She then throws her hands up and shakes her head. I put my arms up in a "WTF, are you serious?" type of gesture. This donkey, in the ultimate donkey move, makes a bunch of hand gestures pointing at the right lane and forward towards the other donkey who is now 2 blocks away stopped at another red light.

A stupid person in her position might be thinking something like "you idiot, that guy made it through the light, why couldn't you have gone, so that I could have run the red light even farther behind you. I could have gotten home 27 seconds earlier if it wasn't for you!" But no, remember, this is a donkey. Donkeys make stupid people look brilliant. I'm 100% that what was going through this donkeys mind (other than her air conditioning) was something more like "uhhhhhh, ghhhhrrlllll, duhhhhhhh, ummmmmm, gaaaaahhhhh ."

I'm pretty sure what we need to do is sacrifice one of our own by having him jump off of a cliff. Then, one by one, all of the donkeys in the world will follow, because if he did it, they should be able to as well.

Morphy