RGP Donkey of the Minute - 6/22/05

As many who will be reading this know (or both of you, depending on how popular or not this gets), I'm an avid poker player. I read and "contribute" (and I use that term loosely) to the newsgroup rec.gambling.poker (RGP). Like any usenet group, RGP has its share of donkeys. In fact, I originally thought about restricting this blog to only poker related donkishness. Then I decided the world of the donkey is a vast thing, and expands way beyond the poker world.

That said, I will inevitably be posting poker related donkey sightings, including posts from RGP. Obviously I won't be posting all of the donkey posts from RGP, party because I don't want to have to put any of mine in there, but mostly because I'm sure blogspot doesn't have near the amount of disk needed for that compilation.

Please note that I won't be pulling punches. I have no problems posting handles/names of posters. If you don't want your name to appear here, think before you post. One thing to note is that sometimes the blatantly obvious is what I find to be most humorous. Other times it's me pointing out the blatantly obvious that I find the most humorous. I won't spend a whole lot of time explaining a lot of these posts, so if it isn't funny to you, plan on seeing your name in a future post.

This week's Donkey of the Minute is cracker69. This unfortunate soul has problems with the time/space continuum. His post appears below:

Subject: Full Tilt withdrawl, any help?

I withdrew from full tilt via a check two weeks ago and still have yet to receive it. They say wait 15-21 business days which is like a month. I expected the check fairly quickly as the mail doesnt take that long to get anywhere, especially in the US.

Anyone cashout via check and how long did it take?

After blinking repeatedly, I felt the need to reply:

So let me ask you something...do you turn on your TV at 6pm then post a message to the alt.tv.jerryspringer group asking why Jerry Springer isn't on at 6pm even though the TV Guide says it's supposed to be on at 7pm?

Please stop. It hurts just reading this.

Morphy

Of course once you get a donkey going he rarely stops:

wow,i just want to know from people how long it actually takes. they say 15-21 business days, but clearly mail doesnt take a month to go anywhere in the world(that has internet access at least). i need the money by friday and so i'm wondering if i'm gonna get it.

sorry that you are so mean to people just asking a simple question. hopefully you can find some joy in your life.

Was this just too easy? Of course not:

Well, let's see here. Is Friday between 15-21 business days from when you requested the cashout? That should answer your question.

I have plenty of joy in my life. I'm fully convinced that stupid people are here for my amusement. Right now, I'm amused.

Morphy

Stay tuned for the next RGP Donkey of the Minute.

Morphy