You are donk of puta

Hello Manifestites! What's that? Where have I been the last 3 months? That's none of your damn business. Ok ok, if you must know, I took a month off of poker, had some bizarre health problems, and took a trip to the remote jungles of Indonesia to study various species of butterfly. Ok ok, it was more like 5 weeks off of poker. Seriously.

Health problems were interesting, I found out that even though I thought it was under control that I have acid reflux bad enough to cause some serious sinus and asthma-like problems. I was put on some antibiotics and promptly had an allergic reaction to them and wound up in the ER with hives all over my body and on the inside of my throat. Fun times, for sure.

Anyway, enough about me, I know why you're here. You want another story about some retard on a poker site who can barely put together a sentence without drooling all over himself. Well, you're in luck, because I have just the story you've been looking for.

The other night my good friend TNL and I were both in the $26 PLO tourney on FullTilt, formerly known as the Morphy Invitational Donkfest. Note that this is not to be confused with the Mega Trainwreck Donkemup Supreme...that's a NLHE tourney. We'll play and rail each other and take turns complaining about this and that flush draw, and flopping sets vs. maggots with 8 high flush draws, etc. On the occasion that we wind up on the same table, game is on though, and there's likely a better chance one of us knocks the other out than someone else on the table taking any of our chips.

About a month ago TNL had an unfortunate accident and as a result lost his chat. So, as dedicated railtard, I felt it was my duty to step in and compliment his opponents in the extremely unlikely result that they make a stupid play. About 20 minutes in, TNL deploys the move known as the "get it in with 7 high and hope to hit" play, and busts up some poor chump's AAxx. What we have is one of the best chat logs I've ever seen, and it begins a little like this:

Dealer: trenzen shows [Ah Jh 6h Ac]
Dealer: obv shows [3d 7s 4c 5c]
Dealer: trenzen shows three of a kind, Sixes
Dealer: obv shows a straight, Six high
Dealer: obv wins the pot (6,620) with a straight, Six high

trenzen: you have poker rng
trenzen: impossible
Dealer: trenzen has 15 seconds left to act
trenzen: www.pokerrng.com
trenzen: look people
XaQ Morphy (Observer): wow trenzen, you suck
XaQ Morphy (Observer): overplaying 1 pair like that
trenzen: just if you now what exit you can play so
trenzen: suck?
trenzen: suck just your mother lol
trenzen: no motivation for play so obv: little blind, first of the hand
trenzen: just if you know what exit
trenzen: you use a program for that
trenzen: your game is possible just with the big blin not now

Heh, game's afoot! I saw the guy was from Italy, so I don't want to make too much fun of his English skills, or lack of, but I couldn't help myself. Notice that this guy seems to have a fascination with my mother. A few hands later he busts, so I start in...

XaQ Morphy (Observer): you have to now the exit
trenzen (Observer): you are out sure:)))
trenzen (Observer): the classic american that speak when the other play:))))
XaQ Morphy (Observer): the classic retard that loses chips so the others play :):)):):):)
trenzen (Observer): ahahaahh
trenzen (Observer): why you dont play?
trenzen (Observer): maybe your mother s.uck our d.ick ?:)))))
XaQ Morphy (Observer): I'm playing in this tournament you moron
trenzen (Observer): say lol
trenzen (Observer): you can play with the lego BASTARD MORON
XaQ Morphy (Observer): uhh, what?
trenzen (Observer): and say moron to your mother
trenzen (Observer): she is nice
trenzen (Observer): just for s.cuk the d.ick :)))))
XaQ Morphy (Observer): she is?
trenzen (Observer): say lol bastard moron
trenzen (Observer): she is puta
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): and you are a soon of puta:)))))
trenzen (Observer): lol
XaQ Morphy (Observer): and you are soon of retard
trenzen (Observer): who speak with you?
trenzen (Observer): who know you?
XaQ Morphy (Observer): me speaky speaky talka talka, you soona puta lego?
trenzen (Observer): who know you
XaQ Morphy (Observer): who you know
XaQ Morphy (Observer): word up gdog fo shizzle in da nizzle house
trenzen (Observer): i know just your mother
XaQ Morphy (Observer): word up dawg!
XaQ Morphy (Observer): soona puta!
trenzen (Observer): yes moron
trenzen (Observer): come here
XaQ Morphy (Observer): lego BASTARD MORON now the exit!
trenzen (Observer): ahahahah
trenzen (Observer): hei bastard american
trenzen (Observer): come here
XaQ Morphy (Observer): puta!
trenzen (Observer): or just bla
XaQ Morphy (Observer): now the exit who you know
trenzen (Observer): bla bla
trenzen (Observer): tell me
XaQ Morphy (Observer): me tell soon to puta
trenzen (Observer): what do you what?
XaQ Morphy (Observer): what do I what?
trenzen (Observer): yes
trenzen (Observer): che cazzo vuoi?
XaQ Morphy (Observer): who know you
XaQ Morphy (Observer): trenzen
XaQ Morphy (Observer): where go you

The last 3 lines went over the course of 5 minutes or so, so I was afraid I had lost my new friend. Never fear, I looked down and sure enough, he showed up on my table. Game on! I'll leave the chat in its entirety because I don't think I can provide any better comments than just leaving the chat intact:

trenzen (Observer): what do want?
trenzen (Observer): who now you?
trenzen (Observer): CHE CAZZO VUOI?
trenzen (Observer): CHE CAZZO VUOI
Smilez187: yo trick hwat lace who? that aint waht mase do......got a lotta girls who wud loveto replace u
XaQ Morphy: who you want?
trenzen (Observer): WHO SPEAK WITH YOU
XaQ Morphy: what you what?
trenzen (Observer): FATTI I CAZZI TUOI
XaQ Morphy: who now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): MA CHE CAZZO VUOI
XaQ Morphy: english only at the tables please
trenzen (Observer): ENGLISH YOUR MOTHER
Smilez187: agreed
trenzen (Observer): CHE CAZZO VUOI
trenzen (Observer): NEGRO DI MERDA
Smilez187: stupid italians
trenzen (Observer): FATTI I CAZZI TUOI
Smilez187: ok
trenzen (Observer): OK WHAT
XaQ Morphy: what you what?
trenzen (Observer): ME?
XaQ Morphy: you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): SO???????????'
XaQ Morphy: what you what?
trenzen (Observer): SO???????????
trenzen (Observer): ABOUT YOU
trenzen (Observer): KICK IN AS.,SS
trenzen (Observer): GIVE ME
trenzen (Observer): COME ON
XaQ Morphy: soon puta?
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
XaQ Morphy: I'm here
trenzen (Observer): YES BASTARD MORON
trenzen (Observer): SO?
trenzen (Observer): YOU ARE HERE
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): SO?
XaQ Morphy: do you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): COGLIONE DI MERDA
trenzen (Observer): SO???
trenzen (Observer): I EXIT SO???????????
trenzen (Observer): SCEMO DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: retardo di merda
trenzen (Observer): TI GIRO 4 VOLTE
XaQ Morphy: not 4
trenzen (Observer): SCEMO DEL CAZZO
XaQ Morphy: 5 is better
trenzen (Observer): YES MORON
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): 4 TIME
XaQ Morphy: you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): I EXIT SO?
XaQ Morphy: soon puta talka di talka?
trenzen (Observer): SO????????????????
trenzen (Observer): TALKA YOUR MOTHER LOL
XaQ Morphy: what the what now the exit soon the puta?
XaQ Morphy: SO?????????
trenzen (Observer): MA SUCCHIAMELòO
trenzen (Observer): SUCCHIAMELO
XaQ Morphy: your what hurts?
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK IN YOUR HAND
trenzen (Observer): WHO KNOW YOU
XaQ Morphy: speak in my hand?
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK IN YOUR HAND
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): BASTARD MORON
XaQ Morphy: speak in my hand
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK IN YOUR HAND
trenzen (Observer): YES MORON
trenzen (Observer): YOU KNOW YOU
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): WHEN I PLAY WITH YOU
trenzen (Observer): WHEN
XaQ Morphy: keep your hands to yourself please
trenzen (Observer): COGLIONE DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: retardo di merda
trenzen (Observer): BASTARD
trenzen (Observer): PEZZO DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: shouldn't that be bastardo?
trenzen (Observer): COGLIONE DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: speak in your hand
trenzen (Observer): YOUR MOTHER S.CUK THE D.ICK AND YOU SPEAK
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): THINK TO YOUR MOTHER MORON:)))
trenzen (Observer): MORON
trenzen (Observer): AND SHE S.CUKS THE D.CI K MORON
XaQ Morphy: speak in your hand
trenzen (Observer): MORONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
trenzen (Observer): MORONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
XaQ Morphy: say lol
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAH
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
XaQ Morphy: what the now exit the hand speak to your moron?
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE SHU UP
XaQ Morphy: hey trenzen
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP
XaQ Morphy: can I get a large pepperoni to go?
trenzen (Observer): CAQZZONE
XaQ Morphy: I like calzones, yes
trenzen (Observer): I LARGE WITH YOUR MOTHER
trenzen (Observer): LO9L
XaQ Morphy: who know you?
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): I KNOW YOUR MOTHER
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: so do I
trenzen (Observer): MORON
XaQ Morphy: she would like sausage and onions on her pizza, and make it snappy
trenzen (Observer): NOT THE PIZZA
trenzen (Observer): YOUR MOTHER SUCK:))))
trenzen (Observer): AND STOP
trenzen (Observer): MORON
trenzen (Observer): MORON
trenzen (Observer): WHO KNOW YOU
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): i play my game and arrive this bastar moron
trenzen (Observer): who know you?
trenzen (Observer): who are you?
RonDworkin: hello there
XaQ Morphy: well hello rondworkin
XaQ Morphy: say hi to my friend trenzen
XaQ Morphy: who will no doubt be famous very soon
RonDworkin: hello trenzen
XaQ Morphy: trenzen, who you know
trenzen (Observer): i don know
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): infact you arrive
trenzen (Observer): and speak
XaQ Morphy: infact?
trenzen (Observer): you knoiw you
XaQ Morphy: speak in my hand
trenzen (Observer): YES MORON
XaQ Morphy: BASTARD MORON
XaQ Morphy: SO??????????
Smilez187: lol
XaQ Morphy: do you now the exit?
XaQ Morphy: who know you?
trenzen (Observer): NOW YOU WILL SEE:))))
RonDworkin: did trenzen hand over his chips to you zacharie?
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: no, he gave them to obv
trenzen (Observer): not not zaccaria just your mother:))))
XaQ Morphy: and now he's writing his way into the DM archives
trenzen (Observer): i prefer she:)))
XaQ Morphy: I large your mother
RonDworkin: ah
XaQ Morphy: sorry, I large with your mother
XaQ Morphy: speak from the hand
trenzen (Observer): i speak when i want
XaQ Morphy: what the who?
trenzen (Observer): what happen if i speak
trenzen (Observer): tell me what happen?
XaQ Morphy: do you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): what happen
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): anserw MORON LOl
trenzen (Observer): tell me rabbit:))))
trenzen (Observer): what happen soon of puta:)))
trenzen (Observer): change your name put soon of puta:)))
XaQ Morphy: soon of puta bastardo di merda
retardo who the know the exit
trenzen (Observer): it's your name
trenzen (Observer): what happen rabbit
trenzen (Observer): anser me
trenzen (Observer): ahahahah
XaQ Morphy: speak from the hand
trenzen (Observer): cazzone
trenzen (Observer): cazzone
XaQ Morphy: calzone?
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE YES YOUR NAME
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA:)))
XaQ Morphy: calzone, with onions please
trenzen (Observer): YES MORON
RonDworkin: make it 2 bro
XaQ Morphy: YES WHO YOU KNOW
RonDworkin: i'm famished
trenzen (Observer): YOU LEARN SOMETIMES
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: speak from the hand!
trenzen (Observer): CHENGE YOUR NAME
trenzen (Observer): PUT CAZZONE DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: spare chenge?
trenzen (Observer): MIISSISIPI
trenzen (Observer): OR MISSIPIPI:)))
XaQ Morphy: what now?
trenzen (Observer): YOU MOTHER
XaQ Morphy: my who the what?
trenzen (Observer): MY WHO THE WHAT?
trenzen (Observer): THE TEACHER:))))
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAAH
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHA
XaQ Morphy: do you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAAH
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHAAHH
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHAHA
trenzen (Observer): YOUR MOTHER IS IN HME:))
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: retardo di merda
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK WITH ME BASTARD MORON
trenzen (Observer): LO
XaQ Morphy: manifesto di donkey?
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHAH

Umm, right. Not only do we have a serious language barrier, we seem to have some issues understanding how the human body works. He went silent again for a few minutes, and I got bored, so I recovered from my hysterical laughing and started in again. Also note that RonDworkin showed up on my table (to my immediate left, which annoyed the shit outta me), and decided to join in the fun:

XaQ Morphy: so trenzen, how's it going?
trenzen (Observer): always your mother do you like?:))))
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): but speak again....
trenzen (Observer): ahahah
XaQ Morphy: speak from the hand soon puta
XaQ Morphy: what you know
trenzen (Observer): i know just your mother
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): but speak again.....
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): lol
trenzen (Observer): lol
XaQ Morphy: say lol
RonDworkin: that trenzen kid sure laughs at a bunch of stuff that is not funny
RonDworkin: perhaps he is retarded?
XaQ Morphy: he now the exit
trenzen (Observer): SILENZ PEOPLE
trenzen (Observer): WHEN YOU DONT KNOW
XaQ Morphy: I believe the correct word is retardo
trenzen (Observer): DONT SPEAK
XaQ Morphy: SPEAK FROM THE HAND
RonDworkin: ah, a No Doubt fan I see
trenzen (Observer): if i speak what happen
trenzen (Observer): i play in my table
trenzen (Observer): without this moron
trenzen (Observer): he arrived
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): and he start insult me
trenzen (Observer): so dont speak people
trenzen (Observer): i dont know you
XaQ Morphy: this community service message has been brought to you by trenzen
trenzen (Observer): so?
XaQ Morphy: do you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): not
trenzen (Observer): so?
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): so?
trenzen (Observer): so?
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): so?
XaQ Morphy: calzone di retardo?
trenzen (Observer): so?
trenzen (Observer): perfect italian:))))
trenzen (Observer): so?
RonDworkin: much better
XaQ Morphy: what do you think of my new friend?
trenzen (Observer): ron i play my game
RonDworkin: perhaps you should continue your search
trenzen (Observer): in onother table
RonDworkin: okie dokie
trenzen (Observer): arrive this moron
trenzen (Observer): and start insulte me
trenzen (Observer): i dont know why
XaQ Morphy: who you know
trenzen (Observer): i don know nothing
XaQ Morphy: well why didn't you say so!
trenzen (Observer): but i havent any problem
XaQ Morphy: I disagree
RonDworkin: i side with xaq on that one
XaQ Morphy: haha

Meanwhile, our friend trenzen was playing on a cash table and busted with something retarded. On his table, he says:

trenzen: that stupid call
trenzen: really really stupid

So I echo on my table, and the game begins again!:

XaQ Morphy: that stupid call
XaQ Morphy: really really stupid
trenzen (Observer): what do you want?
XaQ Morphy: what do I want? you're the one on my table
XaQ Morphy: what do you want?
trenzen (Observer): i want from you kick in as..s
XaQ Morphy: bend over
trenzen (Observer): can you give me please?:)
trenzen (Observer): bend is your mother
trenzen (Observer): but now you don play
XaQ Morphy: I don?
trenzen (Observer): i broke your a.s.s:)))
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
XaQ Morphy: that's a neat trick
XaQ Morphy: considering I'm here with chips and you aren't
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA
trenzen (Observer): I CONSIDER JUST YOUR MOTHER
trenzen (Observer): SHE IS CHEEEP:))))
trenzen (Observer): MORON
trenzen (Observer): MORON
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHHAH
trenzen (Observer): BASTAR MORON
trenzen (Observer): LOOK ME
XaQ Morphy: SO??????????
trenzen (Observer): BASTRD
trenzen (Observer): :)))
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK AGAIN MORON....:)))
trenzen (Observer): COME ON
XaQ Morphy: SPEAK FROM THE HAND
XaQ Morphy: who you know?
trenzen (Observer): YOU LOSE MORON?
trenzen (Observer): WHY?
trenzen (Observer): ahahahah
trenzen (Observer): you get as your mother
trenzen (Observer): that bastard family:))
trenzen (Observer): that loser of my d.cick:))))
trenzen (Observer): check
trenzen (Observer): check
trenzen (Observer): check
XaQ Morphy: you lost your what?
trenzen (Observer): hei loser where is your voice?
trenzen (Observer): ahahhahahaha
trenzen (Observer): speak in ostrogoto
trenzen (Observer): cazzone
XaQ Morphy: never had it, is it any good?
trenzen (Observer): say cazzone
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE
trenzen (Observer): YOU ARE CAZZONE:)))
trenzen (Observer): CAZZZONE
XaQ Morphy: AHAHAHAHAHA
trenzen (Observer): PUT ANOTHER ZZZZ
trenzen (Observer): CAZZZZZZZONE
trenzen (Observer): THAT FAMILY
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: hey want to trade email addresses so we can keep in touch after you leave?
trenzen (Observer): NOT NOT COME HERE
XaQ Morphy: who you know?
trenzen (Observer): I BRING YOU TO THE PARTY
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
XaQ Morphy: I'm here
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
trenzen (Observer): YOU ASK THE ADRESS
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
trenzen (Observer): YOU ARE HARD IN THE MAIL
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAH
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
XaQ Morphy: I think our friend has issues with how the internet works
trenzen (Observer): YOU ARE AMERICAN
XaQ Morphy: I am?
XaQ Morphy: OMG
XaQ Morphy: YOU ARE RETARD
trenzen (Observer): YES MORON
XaQ Morphy: YES AGREED
trenzen (Observer): PLANE
trenzen (Observer): ANC COME HERE
trenzen (Observer): OR YOU ARE BIG MAN JUST IN THE MAIL?
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAH
trenzen (Observer): CAZZONE DI MERDA
XaQ Morphy: I'm sorry, are you inviting me over?
trenzen (Observer): YOU ARE JUST A CAZZONE DI MERDA
trenzen (Observer): YES YES
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE:)))
XaQ Morphy: sorry, not interested, I don't swing that way
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHAAH
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
trenzen (Observer): BLA BLA BLA
trenzen (Observer): BLA BLA BLA
XaQ Morphy: well that I agree with
trenzen (Observer): AND FLOPPPPPPPPPPPP THE SHI.T
XaQ Morphy: what the what?
trenzen (Observer): POLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
trenzen (Observer): PLOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
XaQ Morphy: polf?
XaQ Morphy: plof?
trenzen (Observer): YES IS YOUR SH.IT
trenzen (Observer): PLOF PLOF
trenzen (Observer): "'M NOT INTERESTING.....I WANT YOUR MAIL..."
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAHAHAH
trenzen (Observer): COME HERE
trenzen (Observer): COGLIONE
XaQ Morphy: say lol
trenzen (Observer): ROGER RABBIT
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): YES ROGER RABBIT
XaQ Morphy: PAPA SMURF
XaQ Morphy: LOL
trenzen (Observer): NOT PAPA
trenzen (Observer): YOUR MOTHER
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: AAAAAAHAHAHAHA
trenzen (Observer): LOL
XaQ Morphy: LOL
XaQ Morphy: PLOFFFFFFFFFF
trenzen (Observer): DONT YOU LIKE?
XaQ Morphy: POLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF XaQ Morphy: what the now the soon puta the exit?
trenzen (Observer): AGAIN....
XaQ Morphy: RONDWORKIN RAISE FROM THE HAND
XaQ Morphy: PLOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Dealer: RonDworkin wins the pot (640)
trenzen (Observer): HE DOES WHAT HE WANTS
trenzen (Observer): SHUT UP MORON
XaQ Morphy: WHO YOU KNOW?
trenzen (Observer): AND PLAY:)))
RonDworkin: rond dworkin does the necessary
trenzen (Observer): I KNOW YOUR MOTHER
trenzen (Observer): IS EGUAL
RonDworkin: the needful
trenzen (Observer): AHAHAH
XaQ Morphy: EGUAL?
trenzen (Observer): SOON OF PUTA:)))
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): NOT SILENZ MORON
trenzen (Observer): SPEAK AGAIN
trenzen (Observer): NOT NOT SILENZ
XaQ Morphy: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun
trenzen (Observer): WOWOW
trenzen (Observer): THAT PRO
XaQ Morphy: who you now the exit?
trenzen (Observer): BUT YOUR MOTHER IS A BETTER PRO
trenzen (Observer): BETTER PRO
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
trenzen (Observer): LOL
Smilez187: lol
trenzen (Observer): DONT YOU LIKE?
XaQ Morphy: lol this guy is my hero
trenzen (Observer): NOW DONT YOU LIKE.......

Hopefully this is coming through as funny as it was for me. There are a few morons on RGP who will read every single one of my blog posts, then post on RGP about how I'm not funny at all. Yet, they are stupid enough to read every single post (yes pokerchimp, I'm talking about you, you retard). Anyway, by this point I'm laughing so hard I barely realize I'm still playing poker, or whatever it is that I do when I give my chips away to random players on the tables I sit at. So we have this ending:

Dealer: XaQ Morphy shows [Kc 9h As 8h]
Dealer: goldenflush shows [8s Jh Ah Ad]
Dealer: XaQ Morphy shows Ace King high
Dealer: goldenflush shows a pair of Aces
Dealer: goldenflush wins the pot (11,680) with a pair of Aces
trenzen (Observer): ON THE FACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Dealer: Hand #5911338167
XaQ Morphy: oops
trenzen (Observer): ON THE FACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
trenzen (Observer): ON THE FACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yessir, ON THE FACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE indeed! I reviewed what I had saved in the chat log and realized that this entry is going to be pretty damn long, so I decided not to stay and banter with my new friend any longer. However, I will be happy to inform you that he showed up at 2 of my tables today to start the game over again. I didn't save any of them this time because I wanted to get this blog entry up and posted so I could point him to it as a documentary of his stupidity.

So I bid you farewell, loyal Manifestites. I do have another blog entry in the works, and I'm sure one of these years I'll do another entry from The List, but for the meantime I wish you well. Until next time, enjoy!

Yours Donkily,

Morphy