Donks of the Past: Kindonkgarten

Hello Manifestites! As you may or may not remember, a few weeks ago I posted a Donks of the Past story from my own past, and asked if anyone wanted to share donk stories of their own (link here). Well, I’ve carefully reviewed the submissions, and have chosen the one to post for this time around. It was a tough selection process, but the fact that I only received one email on the subject helped in narrowing down the chosen story to post. (That’s a hint boys and girls).

So this week we have a submission from Manifestite and fellow RGPer WardenS. He writes:

My son started attending kindergarten a few years ago, a little younger than the rest of the class, as his birthday was right at the cutoff date. He's also short for his age, in the 5th percentile.

We enrolled him in a care-after-school program, as his mother and I both work. So after his first day of school, he and about 80 other kids have the run of the cafeteria, the gym, and the playground. All 3 areas are supervised. My son discovers that the door to the playground can be opened manually, or you can press the round silver-and-blue plate by the door and it will open. Fascinating, no doubt. He pressed it again to close it, but that didn't work. He started to think he'd broken it or done something wrong, so he tried again. Still the door stayed open. He casts about for a solution, and finds...

The red box on the wall with a pull lever.

In the aftermath, with the school evacuated and the fire trucks surrounding the school, the fire chief informed the childcare people that he needed to file a police report because of the false alarm. He took one look at the undersized boy barely keeping it together and relented.

Ahh, they start at such a young age. WardenS can both be proud and worried. He knows that based on this incident, his son will either take to a life of firefighting based on what he’s seen, or a life of crime, based on what he’s done. For WardenS’ sake, we wish him the best in dangerous situations, or at least that he doesn’t get caught.

Until next time!

Yours Donkily,

Morphy

Donkrophilia: Quest for a Date

Hello Manifestites! I hope things are treating you well. My wife ran across this story online and I had to share it with you.

This is copied from www.fox6milwaukee.com, from their dynamic news stories. Due to the way their pages are written, I can't link directly to a story. I could link it for today, but after today the link would change, and you would likely get a story about how gas prices went up again. So anyway, here it is:

Grave Diggers
(Cassville) A story out of Western Wisconsin gets more strange. It all started when police in Cassville arrested three would-b grave robbers. Police say Dustin Radke, Alexander Grunke and Nicholas Grunke tried digging up a week-old grave in a cemetery. Investigators say the three were trying to take the body of 20-year-old Laura Tennessen so they could have sex with her. She was killed about a week ago in a motorcycle crash. Police say they dug up enough dirt to reach the vault before they were scared off. All three are in Grant County Jail, held for attempted theft. They don't believe the men knew Tennessen.

Yes boys and girls, those crazy sex-craved kids will do anything for a bit of loving. And apparently anything really is anything. What strikes me as really funny is that these donks tried to dig up a dead girl to have sex with the corpse, and are being held for attempted theft. Those crazy kids!

Until next time,

Morphy